The Silence of a Father

There was a good read by Ruth Marcus in the Post this weekend. The topic was Mary Cheney, the Vice President’s openly-gay and pregnant daughter. Normally, I subscribe to the school of thought that says family members of politicians are off-limits. However, I also believe there are certain circumstances when their words or their actions deserve some scrutiny because of their significance. Mary Cheney is a good example.

I think that most reasonable people would agree that it’s perfectly legitimate for gay men and women (or family members of gay men and women) to identify themselves as members of the Republican Party. Perhaps the policies in which they subscribe, those considered traditionally conservative, fall more under the Republican ideological umbrella. That's understandable.

What I can't understand, and what I find both hypocritical and immoral (and perhaps masochistic) is when those same men and women support candidates and elected officials in their party who claim (generally with religious justification) that they or their loved ones are lesser people simply because of their sexual preference. Beyond any comprehension, it happens time and time again.

Marcus writes: “My only regret about Mary Cheney's pregnancy is that it didn't happen earlier - say, during the 2004 presidential race, when Cheney was working for her father's campaign and his running mate was busy trying to write discrimination against people like her into the Constitution. Imagine a hugely pregnant Mary Cheney sitting in the vice president's box at the convention. Imagine Cheney and her partner, Heather Poe, cuddling their newborn onstage at the victory celebration. How perfectly that would have illustrated the clanging disconnect between the Republican Party's outmoded intolerance and the benign reality of gay families today.”

And if you think the Vice President’s daughter is off-limits to members of his party, think again. Take for instance Alan Keyes, the Illinois ’04 Republican Senatorial candidate. After characterizing homosexuality as "selfish hedonism," Keyes was asked if his assertion meant that Mary Cheney was "a selfish hedonist." Without blinking an eye, he replied "Of course she is. That goes by definition." When asked, the Cheneys simply said they chose not to dignify the statement with a response. Keep in mind that it was a statement made by the Republican Party’s candidate for U.S. Senate in one of our nation’s most populous states.

In the Senate itself, Rick Santorum once claimed that outlawing same-sex marriage and protecting "traditional" marriage was the ultimate homeland security. During that same debate, Senator Jim Inhofe pointed to a picture of his family and claimed “As you see here, and I think this is maybe the most important prop we'll have during the entire debate, my wife and I have been married 47 years. We have 20 kids and grandkids. I'm really proud to say that in the recorded history of our family, we've never had a divorce or any kind of a homosexual relationship.” Now that is something to be proud of!

While the rhetoric and literature used on the campaign trail is nothing short of appalling, the demonizing of homosexuals in the United States Congress is a tragic illustration of how an uncivil and intolerant mentality has become institutionalized, mostly amongst Members of the Vice-President’s own party. To me, it seems a perfect opportunity for him, particularly given his elected office and personal situation, to speak out and provide much-needed moral clarity on such a divisive issue.

Instead of condemning intolerance for what it is, calling off the attack dogs, and defending the dignity of his daughter, he chooses to place a higher priority on winning elections. Throughout his deafening silence, the defamation continues. Because of that defamation, thousands of men and women are forced to secretly live in shame because they are called immoral, and are forced to live in fear because others claim they are a threat to you and your family. While the words of a Vice President couldn’t change things over night, the words of a loving father would be a good first step.

As Marcus ponders, “Perhaps Cheney's high-profile pregnancy will help the Republican Party come to grips with those facts of life. If not, though, she's going to have to explain to her child what mommy was doing trying to help a party that doesn't believe in fairness for families like theirs.”